Given that we are dealing with imperfect beings, what if, instead of expecting perfection, you expected imperfection? What if you started to ask yourself what parts of your life need to be functioning at 100%, and where you might begin to loosen up on your expectations? Averaging out your expectations to, let’s say, around 80%? Adjusting your expectations for yourself, and the people around you, to a more realistic 80 instead of 100 percent would mean allowing for the human factor in yourself and others. It might also mean a whole lot less disappointment. Not to mention a whole lot less stress. And what if you embraced this idea so much that you instituted a new rule at your house? The 80/20 rule. With you and your family all adjusting expectations for themselves and each other accordingly. Here’s how: https://justgotdiagnosed.com/resources/stressing-out-try-80-20-rule/
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Dr. Gary McClain
Gary McClain, PhD is a recognized expert in understanding the emotional reactions to medical diagnosis.
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Q: I was recently diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and I am really trying to face up to this condition and maintain my independence. But there are days when I know I need help. My family is telling me that I am being stubborn when all I am trying to do is be a Fighter. When is it time to ask for help?
A: Fighters may have a reputation as the ideal role models but they aren’t always good at seeking out support unless someone shows them how much worse things will be if they don’t.
Fighters often view themselves as so in control of their situation that they can handle every...
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