Watch your language. You are you. You are not your emotions.

Are you sad, anxious, angry… or are you feeling that way? 

I was thinking today about how easy it is to identify with our emotions, not only to feel them, but to let them take over our lives until we are all about our emotions and our emotions are all about us.  And identifying with our emotions begins with the words we use when talking about how we feel. 

When I first started studying Spanish in high school, one aspect of the Spanish language that gave me problems was how emotions like sadness and anxiety are expressed. 

In English, we say, “I am sad” or “I am anxious.”

But in Spanish, feelings are expressed as: “I have sadness” or “I have anxiety.” 

It took awhile to make that adjustment, I have to say.  One thing that helped me was to think of the feeling, like sadness or anxiety, as something I might be holding in my hands.  In other words, not “I am,” which sounds like you begin and end with your feelings.  But “I have,” which means sounds like while you have the emotion right now, you might also be able to put it someplace else.

Try replacing the “I am” with the “I have.”  “I am” sounds pretty permanent.  “I have” sound like, well, maybe it’s also possible not to have.   

 And then, open up to the possibility that you have options.  That your feelings don’t have to be all you are about.  That it is possible to do something about your feelings.  I am not trying to say that you can simply decide not to feel the way that you feel and make it go away.  That’s just denial, and it’s not realistic.  But I am encouraging you to open yourself up to the possibility that you don’t have to feel the way that you feel. 

You can have your feelings without being your feelings.  You aren’t your depression.  You aren’t your anxiety.  They are not your true self. 

You are you.  And that’s a lot more than depression or anxiety.

Anxiety and depression are treatable.  If you aren’t getting help with the way you are feeling, do you think it might be time to reach out?