It’s only human nature to feel so challenged that life seems like one long, hard road. With nothing going right and everything going wrong.
Nobody understands this better than someone who is dealing with a chronic condition. Every day can present a challenge, some that you have learned to expect, and others that may come out of the blue. Let’s be honest, on a lot of days, not much seems to be going right.
But no matter what’s going in our lives, point out the flaws – in ourselves, in situations, and in other people – just seems to come naturally. And yes, seeing what’s not working can help us to know what to fix.
Still, there are a couple of problems here. First, not everything is fixable. Some things are just that way because they are. Second, if identifying what’s bad and what’s wrong becomes your mindset, then life is going to look pretty bleak.
When you’re focused on the negative, everything that happens gets interpreted as one more reason why life is hopeless. And that can, in turn, adds more stress to your life because it leaves you open to constantly assuming – if not looking for – the worst.
How about considering an alternative viewpoint? The opposite of counting your disappointments is to count your blessings. You could even say that being focused on the blessings – what you are grateful for in life – is an antidote to the poison that you introduce into your life by being constantly focused on negativity.
So what do you have in your life to be grateful for?
Well, all kinds of things if you put your mind to identifying them. To help with that process, I have suggested to some of my clients that they maintain a gratitude list and add a new gratitude to the list every day. Every day, one gratitude. On those days that aren’t going so well, you can go back and review the list. And it’s a fun challenge to keep thinking of new ones.
Here are some ideas: the warm sun coming in through the window, your next door neighbor’s smile, cinnamon toast, the wise words your mom gave you, a phone call with a friend, a job to go to, no bills in the mail today, the heat or the air conditioning working, a favorite show in TV, a Saturday with nothing to do, hearing your child giggling… and on and on.
Some of the items on your list might make you feel a little childish. Well, so much the better. It’s probably been a long time since you let yourself view the world as a child would, without all of the judgments of ourselves and others that we learn over the years.
You might want to put a note by your alarm clock to remind yourself to focus on one thing that you are grateful for before you throw back the covers in the morning. That might be a way to help get yourself started, ready to face the day with a more optimistic attitude. And if you can’t think of one, pull out that list.
There is some science behind this.
Focusing on gratitude can help re-wire your mind to think more optimistically, to teach yourself to focus on what’s good, and what’s possible. And to be proactively avoid the stress that you invite into your live when you have a consistently negative mindset.
Ready to give it a try? Pull out a sheet of paper. Ask yourself: What am I grateful for?
Take notes!
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