Do you have people in your life that, the day you told them about your diagnosis, started relating to you as if you had (your diagnosis: diabetes, arthritis, cancer, HIV, etc.) tattooed on your forehead?
There are people in your life who are going to take it in stride, and relate to you as they always have though, at least initially, with some extra concern about how you are feeling physically and emotionally. Often this is temporary, and just requires some patience and reassurance on your part as they adjust to the news, not unlike the process that you have gone through.
And then there are those people who for some reason, can’t seem to move past your diagnosis, as if everything you say or do is somehow connected to it.
There are a lot of reasons why other people behave this way. Their concern can be the result of feeling like they need to fix you or take care of you and not sure how to do it. Trying to tell you what you should be eating. Drilling you on whether you are getting enough rest. Asking if you are getting check-ups. They want to help and they feel helpless. And so they may try to make their own helplessness go away by trying to manage your life. In other words, projecting their own helplessness onto you.
On the other hand, you may have people in your life who assume that you want them to show their concern. Or who want you to assure that – no problem – they’re willing to talk about diagnosis (over and over…).
So where does that leave you? Well, in control, for one thing. And here are some steps you can take to establish the role you want diagnosis to play in your relationships.
Check out my new article in the Resources section, with the same title as my blog.
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