A client who I will call Maya talked to me about her reactions to her mother’s diagnosis:
"I am so mad, that’s all I can feel. I am mad that my mother is going to have to face all of this treatment. What has she done to deserve this? I am mad that she and my father have made so many plans and now they might not be able to enjoy the future they had planned. And to be honest, I am mad that this is going to mean that I am going to have to get involved in caregiving, and I am already working full-time and raising two kids. This isn’t fair."
Any medical diagnosis means change, such as changes in diet and lifestyle and new medications, and it is only human to want to hang on to what is comfortable and familiar. Change is scary as we begin to ask alll of those ‘what if’ questions. If you are feeling fearful and uncertain about the future, here are some ideas to consider.
I don’t know what to say about the current state of the economy and what it means for people who are facing chronic and catastrophic health conditions. The media is filled with horror stories. This week, I read that states are having to cut back on programs that provide medication to residents who are living with HIV and cannot afford the medications. Some have lost their benefits and are scrambling to find a way to obtain their medications, including going directly to pharmaceutical companies. Others are on waiting lists. One of many repercussions of cutbacks
When I tell people about my blog and website, they often ask questions like "Whose side are you on?" The implication is that healthcare professionals, pharmaceutical companies, insurance companies… and patients…
I think that right now we live in a time in which more and more people are feeling helpless and hopeless. The economy, an oil leak that threatens the environment, wars and political unrest…
Through some volunteering that I do for an organization called CanCare, and the other work that I do, I am constantly reminded of the stress that caregivers experiene as they support their loved one during an illness. When one member of the household gets sick, everyone else in the household also gets sick. What worries me is that caregivers are reaching out for emotional support, for reasons that include not thinking they should need it, not thinking the deserve it, or feeling like they need to be focused on the needs of the patient and not their own needs. I always encou
It has been my experience that newly-diagnosed patients can benefit from a combination of optimism and realism as they cope with their diagnosis and make treatment decisions. What concerns me is when I see patients who insist that they have to ‘think positive’ to the extent that they also deny the other emotions that they may be experinecing — anger, sadness, fear. Denial of feelings doesn’t lead to a magical cure. Worse yet, insistence on positive thinking implies that individuals are responsible for making themselves sick, and thinking themselves better, which
The December 19 issue of The New York Times includes an article about cancer center advertising, titled ‘Cancer Center Ads, Appealing To Emotions at a Fragile Time.’ It discussed advertising that is not substantiated by data, and brings up some interesting points about advertising that appeals to the emotions.
I talked with a woman this week who has been diagnosed with a form of cancer that is especially lethal. She told me the story of how her local physician had performed surgery and then informed her that he had prolonged her life, but not to expect more.
I want to bring your attention to a new book written by an author that I really admre, Barbara Ehrenreich. The title of the book says it all: Bright-Sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America. She wrote this book in part as a result of her experience of being treated for breast cancer in 2000. She reached out for support and was constantly told to ‘think positive," which, to her, also implied that if she didn’t get better, it was her fault. I appreciate the author’s honesty. While I am not arguing that fa